I've been ignoring LiveJournal for a while due to writer's block issues.  It just made me feel guilty to post and not have any work of fanfic written.  I'm not even sure why I'm here now as I have nothing finished.

Oh well.

Just wanted to let anyone know that I'm here. 

Yes, I'm still writing, though not much.

Yes, I plan to complete my stories...although I'm not sure at the timelines at the moment.

Life...it's gets in the way of writing sometimes...

Hope everyone had a wonderful fourth of July weekend.

Heh. A drabble, I think.

Title: Waking Dreams
Author: Akane-Rei
Anime: Bleach
Rating: NC-17 (yeah, you know what that means)
Genre: Smut (so please refrain from reading if this sort of thing offends you)
Pairing: Rukia x Grimmjow
Spoilers: up to Chapter 237
Summary: Rukia's dreams have a way of disturbing reality.

I don't know what it is, but going to Yahoo! tonight was irritating.  I'm not sure whether it has to do with its connection with MS Internet Explorer, but when I went there tonight, my IE browser popped open with a bunch of ads. 

Yeck.

I don't even use IE.  I'd uninstall it if I could figure out how.

Anyway, I was soo aggravated about it tonight (because for a second, I thought my computer was under attack my viruses--still could be, you never know) that I finally changed my primary email from Yahoo! to Gmail.  It's been a long time coming.  I had liked Yahoo! because it was a one stop home page (you get the news, etc all at one go). 

*sighs*

*grumbles*

Some things I've been wondering about when I'm cursing myself for being awake this late.
a) Is it better to just stay in bed and stare at my ceiling fan while I valiantly (and futilely) attempt to sleep or would it be better to just get up and do something productive?
b) Which is the lesser of two evils: caffeine pills (and energy drinks, I guess) to help me stay up during the daytime or sleep aid medications to help me sleep at night?
c) Why does my dog like the taste of the wainscotting in my house?

I'm not sure if that makes me a lemming.

But, after months of my friends telling me to get a myspace account, I finally did it.  I did it, not expecting to do much with it.  I had just wanted to use it mostly as a placeholder of some sorts.  Except...I got sucked in in trying to make it look pretty.  And so I spent HOURS working with colors and looking for pictures on the web.

As for posting stuff there...*shrugs*...unlikely.  LJ seems to meet my needs at the moment and I might as well be honest, I haven't been writing much lately.  I'm hoping to get back in the swing of things but *sighs* I can't make any promises.

Anyway, for those of you who might even be remotely interested in seeing the darn account, here is the link:

MySpace Account

I've made it public, but I have hidden who my friends are.

Yeah, I know. 

Bad pun.

But it truly is strange.

After months of searching (well, to be honest, not too actively) for a Wii, someone finally found one for me. 

You have to understand, I've had my teammates and co-workers searching for me as it has become a running gag that I am Wii-less. 

As luck would have it, someone found it for me today and purchased it.

And it wasn't me or my co-workers.

It was someone whom I had recently stopped dating (like, this past weekend recently).  I had given the old "let's be friends line" not really expecting much because my past experience has taught me despite the best of intentions, it doesn't always work out that way.  Anyway, so he gave me my Wii (and yes, I insisted on paying for it) and told me that that's what friends are for when I thanked him.

*shrugs*

It was nice of him, but it makes me wonder.

Can people who've dated actually remain friends afterwards?  It's an age-old question, I know.  And I've always realistically thought that it would be difficult, to say the least.  I've tried it a couple of times (one was a total disaster while the other was just...weird).  But with this guy it makes me wonder because out of all my relationships, I've enjoyed talking to him the most.  We could end up talking for hours and I wouldn't be bored--definitely a plus as I've had the unfortunate luck of having dated some men whose conversation bores me after half an hour. 

Granted, I knew early on that this guy wasn't going to be a keeper.  In my mind, I had given the dating thing about two months before it expired (I know, quite horrible of me, but you have to understand that I've tried a long term relationship before and found it to be horrifyingly stifling--maybe it was just the wrong guy? Who knows?).  Anyway, back to current situation.  I even remember thinking earlier that it was unfortunate that we (me and guy who found me my Wii) had dated because I could really see him being a good bud.  Now, however, things seem to be going okay.  He's friendly and I'm friendly. 

*crossing fingers*

Here's hoping to no ulterior motives (except for friendship) behind all the friendliness.

On a much lighter note, I have found a space for my Wii on my already crowded entertainment center (Yeah!).  I was carefuly not to move too much around as one of my friends had given me his sound system and had even installed it for me.  Did NOT want to have to redo that one.  Because of work and other obligations, I'm actually trying to be disciplined by limiting myself to one game per night on the weekdays.  *laughs*  I have my doubts on how long that will last.

Anyway, I should probably stop procrastinating and get back to the work I brought home with me.  So, that's all for now.

So, I'm placing the rest of what I'm about to say under the cut due to spoilers.

My job owns my a$$. The hours I spend on this thing, I'm just thankful that I still love it. The honeymoon is not over. Anyway, because of real life stuff interfering with my fun writing time, I missed the deadline I had set for myself of having the next chapter of Sub Aff written. It was just plain wishful thinking and totally unrealistic in my part to hope to have it done by Valentine's Day. Right now, it's looking more like April.

Anyway, here's some of what I have done so far. I didn't include much...just the first two scenes. I didn't want to spoil anybody :)

I hope you guys enjoyed.

The next Sub Aff post will be in ff.net for the complete chapter.

Til next time.

I was at work today when I noticed something in at the trunk of my car.  At first glance, you wouldn't notice it, but the way the light bounced off it looked a little weird as I approached my vehicle.  When I finally took a closer look, I found a slight indentation near the center, close to the bumper.  The paint was a little cracked *sniffling* and the more I looked at it, the worse it seemed.

Ugh!

Some %@#$%$#@^ bumped into my car!!!!!  I'm not even sure when it happened as I did not notice it when I went to work today so it could have happened at work.  I went grocery shopping yesterday, but did not put anything in the trunk so it could have happened yesterday night.  I just don't know.

*sniffles*

There was no note or anything.

*sniffles*

I guess they might have thought that they didn't do any damage.  After all, I'm not even sure when it happened.  For all I know it happened a week ago and I was just that unobservant.  Anyway, my co-worker told me to put clear nail polish on it to prevent the paint from further cracking and help keep moisture away.  Otherwise, it might start to rust where the paint cracked.

*sniffles*

Anyway, I'm not even sure if it's worth fixing.  I mean I already have a small bump in my bumper (that one was entirely my fault) from last year.  And I'm such a horrific driver as it is that I could actually see my car taking more abuse later down the line. 

*sighs dejectedly*

I'm thinking of getting an estimate...

So, I thought I'd share something I found really entertaining. As most of you know, I'm a Rukia fan, but one of my fave pairings is Byakuruki. And so, any scene with them together is pretty much awesome for me. Anyway, enjoy.

EDIT: If this isn't loading for you, here is the link

So, we finally had our first wintry mix this morning.  In all the years (~6 and a half to be exact) that I've lived in NC, this is by far the mildest winter ever.  It snowed a little this morning, and at one point it actually snowed fast enough to stick to the ground.  Of course, it lasted for all of a couple of hours.

Be that as it may, despite all the hassle that the icy weather brings when it comes to getting to work, I have to admit I've missed the almost pristine whiteness of snow.  This morning, I watched my dog play in the backyard for awhile (one of the many reasons I showed up for work late) and took some pictures.  Here's one of them:


Meet Pumba.  He's a Shar-Pei mix who has a piggly tail.  He also makes snorting warthog-like sounds (hence the name).  And...ummm...no, he's not a puppy.  I just like to refer to him that way because I would swear that he acts like one most of the time.  I've decided recently that taking his pictures is one of my favorite hobbies so you might see more of him next time.

Oh joy!  Oh happiness!  Does it make me seem old when I say that I'm beginning to appreciate those Friday nights when the only thing I have to do is...absolutely NOTHING?  No going out to meet friends, no going out on dates, no last minute errands/chores, no entertaining guests.  No nothing.  NADA.  *shivers with guilty pleasure*  I got home from work today, threw the laptop on top of the dining table, kissed my dog before I sent him out to the backyard to do his business, and then curled up in the couch.  My dog joined me moments later and I would swear that we looked at each other in perfect understanding right before we took a nice nap on the comfy couch :)

*sighs* While I do enjoy my work now, things are just so busy that I so relish the time when I can focus on just me.  Me, me, me, ME.  And what does that mean?  Well it means that I get to look at my fanfic writing and actually do some writing or polishing up of outlines.  Tonight, as strange as it seems, I was working on the dialogue for the very last scene (And when I say last, I mean the last chapter of Part Three) of Substitue Affections.  I know.  Weird.  I just wanted to assure myself that it wasn't going to suck.  So, I worked on the dialogue between Rukia and Byakuya and I must say, I think I'm pretty happy with it.  I know, I know.  I should have probably been working on Chapter 13 instead, or any one of my other unfinished fanfictions, but for some reason...the end of Substitue Affections was what was on my mind.  So, I wrote the dialogue, but not in prose. 

On a different note, I'm going to see a musical called Movin' Out tomorrow with some good friends, followed by dinner at what looks like a new fancy Vietnamese restaurant.  I'm hoping to be very entertained and very well-fed.

And so, have a great weekend everyone!

Yes!!!

*throws confetti around* 

Yes! Chapter 12 of Substitute Affections was updated in ff.net.  I don't know about you guys, but my alerts in fanfiction.net is not the most reliable at the moment so here is a link:

The story

Again, thanks to everyone who has reviewed!

Wow, I can't believe that the New Year is already here.  The past year has just literally flown by with so many changes in my life.  I feel like I barely blinked and here we are.

For good news, I'd like to inform everyone who actually browses through this journal that I have finished Chapter 12 of Sub Aff.  I just had it sent to my beta-reader haritori and I will get working on it as soon as I get it back.  I'm hoping to post it in ff.net in January--I know, I know...a bit later than I had expected to post it.  Unfortunately, the bad news in all this is that updates are going to be a bit slow.  Juggling real life issues as well as writing time has been a mite difficult lately.  I'm sorry about that.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays depending on your preference).  I certainly did and last month has been a blast. 

Here's hoping for a wonderful new year ahead of us!

I hate going back on my word.  But this is one of the few instances where I feel I have to defend myself.  I told myself I was going to ignore any further communication from my ex bf (who, by the way, said last month that he would never look at my journal again, but who nevertheless posted a bitter, bitter counter-rant to my post), but I feel as if I have to defend myself against being called a LIAR.  I may be an ego-centric biyatch, but a liar regarding my posts?  I think not!

This whole post is in response to this comment made by my ex bf in a previous post:


Hopefully, my next post would be a story update.

While I have decided to make most of my personal entries to this journal locked, this one will be one of the few exceptions as it is a rant against the very reason I've made some of my entries private.

Yes, I've decided to change my journal look for a bit.  Yeah, I know it's actually been days since I've done it ^_^  Anyway, with the new look was the decision to post some of my entries as "Friends Only."  I've done this for various reasons that I won't go through.  Please let me know if you would like me to add you.  Just FYI, though, I don't plan to put any of the fics I'm writing under the "Friends Only" security setting.  So, if your sole purpose is just to read stories, there's no need for you to do anything.

Oh, and before I forget,

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

On Work: Perhaps I am in the honeymoon phase so far in terms of my new job; however, I have to say that I am so enjoying it at the moment. I love the systems that work that are in place already. No more wearing too many hats! Right now, everything seems to be just right. Yes, I know I'm being vague, but I think the particulars of my work are incidental to what I want to convey. Plus, there's the whole confidentiality agreement stuff ^_^ Anyway, I just wanted to...hrm...what's the opposite of rant? Whatever it is, that's what I wanted to do about my new job :-)

On Writing: Sub Aff is still a priority. It's turning out to be a slightly longer chapter than I had anticipated but I blame that entirely on Byakuya and Rukia. If they didn't have such a difficult time communicating with each other, it would definitely make my job easier ;-) The really nice thing about this month is that I was able to finish Heart's Reasons (something I've started way too long ago) and a one shot Byakuruki (thanks Mano and Renataangelic_arrow). Granted it distracted me a little from Sub Aff, but I feel quite accomplished. I'm actually thinking of doing more one shots (I have a couple more in the works) , but I believe that Sub Aff will still be a priority as I want to get to part two and three soon. For those who actually just really want a glimpse of what I have written so far, here is a small teaser of chapter 12:

Please don't kill me.

I've realized that by having things such an LJ or a fanfiction account, it makes it easier for people to find you and keep up with a little of what you're doing. In one way that's good because it allows people who want to read my writing easier access (should they want it!) to all my works.

What I am now just realizing, however, is that it is also one way for unwanted people to sort of keep tabs on you. Take, for example, an ex-bf. After over a year of break up, one would think that the said boy would get the hint and stop contacting me...but no. Today, I had the misfortune to receive another communication. *bangs head in keyboard* How much more blunt should I be in imparting my so NOT wanting to have any sort of contact with him? How much more could I ignore him before he gets the picture that i absolutely would like to get away from the past?

Anyway, getting back to my point, in this latest communication, he has let it slip that he's read my fanfic writings in ff.net. Something I guess he is free to do, and yet...ugh! I know he has no interest in fanfics and the fact that he reads mine sends shivers of creepiness down my spine. It doesn't help that I have connected my ff.net account to my LJ, where at times I might put something a little more personal than my stories.

Strangely enough, while i don't mind strangers reading my stories (after all, they're strangers and for all i know, i never have to see them or their possible judgment), I find it distinctly uncomfortable to know that my ex could lurk in my journal or my ff.net account.

I had thought to change my pen name, but i have found myself particularly attached to this one that I've had for about nine years of fanfic writing now! Not that the name itself is that great (named myself after two of my favorite anime characters at the time i started writing stories), but I've had it for almost a decade! A decade!!

Well, here's my hope that if he ever does finally find this journal and reads it, he can perhaps take a hint and GET A LIFE (more specifically, a life away from mine.)